Chloe came home from school the other day and asked a question. She was very serious and almost sad and hesitant to ask what she was about to. Like she didn't want to know the answer.
"Mom, are you happy when we go to school? I mean I know you're happy we go to learn and stuff but like are you happy we get out of your way? Happy when we are not at home?"
I about burst into tears.
I asked why this question. And she said she has a friend at school whose mom always tells her and her sisters that she can't wait to school to start and doesn't like when its over and that she is happy when the kids go. Chloe was so so sad for her friend and wanted to know if all moms were happy once their kids got out of their hair and were away all day to give the moms a break.
School is a good thing. It provides routine and structure which helps moods and behaviors. It allows me time to get my errands done, house work done, hair appointments etc. But no I am not happy or excited that my kids are gone all day. I don't live for the moment when I can be home without them. I like having them around. I enjoy their company and I love summer when there is no school. Does that mean we don't ever fight or get on each others nerves or that being a mom isn't hard and exhausting? No. There are times I want to lock myself in my room for a two hour time out. But that just comes with family. It made me so sad to think she thought I was happy to get rid of her.
No Chloe, not happy when you leave, not happy someone
else has more hours of the day to influence you and teach you. I love having you home.
You are my life and thats why I'm happy.
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