Nothing important

Today I took the kids to 7 Peaks and I kinda wish I hadn't. It was super crowded, the Frog pool was closed, Kasen was driving me bonkers not wanting to stay still and climbing all over me, and then I watched someone throw up in the wave pool. Most people probably didn't know I could move so fast with a baby in my arms trying to gather my other chicks out of the pool to avoid the chunks (I just dry heaved a little as I wrote that). I bought stuff to make cookies today so the kids could have a cookie/lemonade stand and they said no and continue to ask me what they can do because they are bored. I have been browsing around on line for back to school stuff which I should not do because it just overwhelms me thinking about all of the money I could potentially spend. I cant stop eating crap all day and I need a really good yard sale before the summer is over. Kasen has been waking up every two hours at night and I am getting pretty tired. I'm hoping once his top teeth come in he will start to sleep better. School registration is tomorrow and I can't believe summer is ending. Tj and I laid in bed talking for hours the other night about Tallie getting baptized soon and how she has grown up so fast, hoping we, as parents, have prepared her and taught her about her special day. We talked about how so many people in our neighborhood are starting to move and wondering if we would ever move. We don't plan to because we love the area and the neighbors and all of the kids and walking to school and living by the creek/trail and being close to everything but not living in Provo town. But if the neighborhood all changes and new people come in and its not what we used to love...would we? It would be fun to house shop but I really hate change. It would take another 5 years for me to make a single friend and I love my friends here. Ok, I only really have one friend but she is a really good one. Maybe I need a fence. I am kinda over my backdoor neighbors. This is turning out to be the summer I was dreading for Tallie and her long time friend Elena. I hate seeing Tallie so sad and Elena moving on, oblivious to how she makes her "friend" feel. It hurts to be a mom and watch your kids go through stuff. But thats how they learn and grown right?? Tonight we are going on a double date with Rob and Becky to seven peaks (obviously I LOVE that place) and it will be the first time I will leave Kasen AWAKE with someone and have them put him to bed...I'd be lying if I didn't say I was nervous for that. I should prob quit blogging and get my act together so we can be ready to go when the sitter gets here...

Tallie's first post

on sunday my grandma ascked me and chloe to have a sleepover at her houes and me and chloe said yes sow we told are cousin that got to staying here. first we watched elf .next we went to sleep
in the morning we went to see Dispicable Me . after we went to the splash pad and chloe got stong by a bee then went home.

TJ's mini TRI

TJ's brother in law , Gordon, asked TJ to do a mini TRI with him in Layton. TJ was pretty excited to do it. He didn't really train or anything for it. It was kind of last min (he did do a trial run the week before to see what it would be like). He stayed the night of at Jamie's house and I drove up the next morning. He did so good and even came in 2nd in his age group. I'm glad that he got his feet wet and is now excited to do more and that he really liked it. As I was watching it I couldn't stop thinking about how much fun a TRI would be! I guess I need to hit up those adult swimming classes with my friend Becky so I don't drown first. I had to wake up and get the kids ready and out the door by 6am to drive to Layton and it was so hard to run from event to event and try and catch TJ with Lexi and a stroller and Kasen who wanted to eat, in the rain! Next time I might leave the kids at home. Props to TJ who brings them to my races, over and over again. It is NOT easy. Next year Tallie says she wants to try the kids TRI. It makes me happy when I hear my kids say they want to try and do things like this. I will never be the parent who pushes my kids to do things they really don't want to do. I once saw a mom run with her 6 year old holding her hand coming up on the finish line and the mom was practically dragging the girl whose feet could not keep up and kept stumbling and she had tears rolling down her face crying to stop and that she was tired. The mom not listening and just wanting the glory still pushing along. Ya I bet that was a fun race for that little girl, I bet it fueled her fire for future races because she developed such a love for running. Good quality time with mom and a great memory she will always keep with her.

I WILL never be that kind of mom.

I'm super proud of TJ and I hope he found a new love!

The parentals are in town..

This past weekend my parents came to visit. It was good to see them. It was really nice to have my dad come up too. I feel like I don't see him that often. They mostly slept at Tessa's house (which is ironic since we just finished our basement and actually have a room for them) but I guess in the past they have stayed more at my house so they felt like they had to share. Which really makes no difference to me. My feelings do not get hurt. However my kids were bummed that Grandma and Grandpa didn't stay more at our house. Tessa had soccer games most every night and we went once and it was funny because once I walked into the indoor soccer complex I realized that that was the place where Tj and I had first hung out, watching Tessa play soccer back in college. We talked forever that night and it was that night that started our friendship. Anyways, back to my parents, we went to dinner, hiked up the Grotto Trail (which the water was low which made it not as cool), we went up Provo North park (I think) and the kids floated boats and we just hung out and chatted. My dad got food poisening while he was here and was sick all Saturday night throwing up and didn't make it to church on Sunday. We walked around the neighborhood, talked about too much toxins and things that aren't good for us (a really good time if you know what I mean) and they left this morning to go back home. Oh and my dad taught Tallie how to whittle wood. She was so stoked about using a real sharp pocket knife. She whittled her own walking stick, nice and smooth and passed the test and now is a Whittling Warrior (as my dad calls them) with some of her other cousins.

Soap

I think I seriously need to hand a bar of soap around my neck and stick it in my mouth every time I am negative, complaining, gossiping, talking bad about others, or just flat out saying anything that can or should be left unsaid.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't really like myself right now and I can't stand hanging out with me.

There are people in my life who seem to be negative about everything and others who can't seem to say anything nice about someone else and I feel like I am becoming one of them. I don't know what my problem is but I feel like everything that comes out of my mouth lately is not good and it needs to change. There was once a time when my dad told me that he was proud of me because I always seemed to talk highly of people and to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I want my dad to think that way of me again.

I want to like myself and be a friend I actually want to hang out with. I don't want my kids to hear their mom bashing everything and bad mouthing everyone.

I notice my girls do it every now and then and it hurts to know that they learned it from listening to their own mom.

This is my challenge:

If I can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

Look for something good in everyone,

and be more POSITIVE.

And SHUT MY MOUTH

THE helmet

Kasen's helmet finally arrived. Not like I was anxiously waiting for it but more like crap it's really here. Good thing is is that he really does not seem to mind it! Which is such a blessing! He is still my happy smiling boy who just happens to have a watermelon on his head (not the best camo I have ever seen). This week is transition week into wearing it full time. I feel bad because he sure does sweat a lot in it and I'm nervous for tomorrow when he has to start sleeping in it. He hasn't been sleeping well at night as it is (I think he is getting top teeth). I know this too shall pass, as my mom always says. Just something I need to get used to.

I still love my little man no matter what funny EXPENSIVE hat he wears.

Sleepover at Grandma's

After Sunday dinner Tallie and Chloe stayed to have a sleepover at grandma's since Sophie was going to be staying the night with her mom. It was nice to be down 2 kids for one night. And it was good that we were because I felt so sick all night. I was so nauseaus and I knew that if I got out of bed I might throw up all over the place or even pass out like I have in the past. Tj ended up having to bring Kasen into our bed each time he woke up to eat and then take him back when he was done. I felt bad because I'm pretty sure TJ got no sleep. The girls stayed at Mona's all day the next day and went to see Dispicable Me at the movie theater and then once I got there we all went to the splash pad. Poor Chloe got stung by a bee on her lip while we were there. We stayed for dinner until it was time for bed. It was a fun day and a good way to pass the time since TJ is now gone for the week in Las Vegas for work. 

Family time

On Saturday we went up Provo canyon. We took Subway for lunch and the the kids were unsure of going, thinking it would not be any fun.

When I asked Chloe later if she was glad she came she said "I didn't know how much fun it would be!". The kids played in the creek floating TJ's childhood boat, we played catch and just enjoyed being out in nature. Utah is a really beautiful place to live. Especially moving here from New Mexico where the scenery is so very different. I really thought it was heaven when I first moved here. SO green and so much to see and do.

We didn't stay as long as we would have liked because I was having bathroom issues. As in I could not stray too far from it. Early that morning I did a 17 mile run at a pace that I was not used to. I pushed myself to hard for too long and I paid for it once I got home. And the problem was was that I went with girls who are really fast and I didn't want to be the crutch so I did their pace. I did surprise myself and felt good about the first 9 miles which was UP the canyon which we kept mostly at a 8:30 min mile pace. the down hill should have been faster and easier but since I had spent everything I had going up the last half was super hard and I was hurting. Lessons learned.

4th of July

We started the 4th out with Tj and the girls running the Freedom Run.

This year Chloe said she would run it if Tj ran it with her which was so awesome that she wanted to run it at all! The girls practiced running a bit around the block with the Wakefield girls and I even took turns running around the block with them. They all did great! Tallie kept by Elena's side the whole time, even when she needed to stop and walk, what a good friend she is

. Chloe and her dad stayed together and Chloe ran the whole way! It was so cute to see them cross the finish line. Later TJ told me that that was probley one of the funnest things he has ever done. A great memory that he and the girls will never forget. I feel like it really boosted Chloe's confidence too because she is always very shy and so nervous to try new things but she tried it and loved it and smiled all day because of it and I think she realized that trying new things isn't always bad. Next year we want to try and run the 5K as a family (with Kasen and Lexi in the jogging stroller). Tj is pretty stoked about it and I think it would be such an awesome family tradition to be active and healthy together.

 That day we hung out at Bob and Mona's with the rest of the family and ate a lot of good food. We laughed, played frisbe, painted faces, and watched fireworks. It's hard with a baby, such a long day for all but so much fun.

I love my family.