Today was the primary program at church.

I was such a proud mom.

Chloe and Tallie actually sat up on the stand and instead of me sitting up there with my CTR 4 class, I got to sit down in the audience and watch.

Watching Tallie so big in the back row with the other big kids just blows my mind.

Is she already 6??

And seeing Chloe in the very front row just tall enough to peek her little head over...

just melts my heart.

I seriously had to hold back tears.

I am in so much love with my kids.

I love watching them sing all the songs they have learned and I love how when they catch me looking at them they throw me a huge smile.

Last night we went to our ward halloween party and ate tons of pie and played games. Last year TJ and I didn't dress up and I remember feeling out of place wishing I had dressed up. So this year I went as Snow White and TJ was an army man...and we were pretty much the only ones.

My ward is lame and so indecisive. Why can't adults dress up and be cool and have fun??

Lately Chloe and Tallie have been coloring like crazy! We have been printing a billion Hello Kitty and Halloween pictures from online. They always ask me to color with them. As I am sitting there coloring with Chloe she tells me what to color and what colors to use and then says "Do your very best! STAY IN THE LINES!" She is too cute. She is very detailed when it comes to her pictures and she always stays in the lines.

When I was 16 I learned a great lesson from my mom. And although what she tried to teach me then didn't really hit me and sink in until now...I'm 28.

It was spring break and my best friend, Monica Sanchez, and I wanted to go to the Lake with all of our friends. Most of our friends were boys and no the lake was not close. It was about a 2.5 hr drive from home and we wanted to stay overnight and camp with everyone (note: I knew perfectly well that all of my friends would be drunk and wasted the whole weekend). We both knew that our parents were not going to let us go so we came up with the biggest lie and told my mom we were going to Monica's church lock in and we would be in the church overnight and would play games and go swimming the next day (to cover up for the sunburn I would have when we got home from the lake). She agreed because she trust me. We told Monica's dad she would be staying at her mom's house for the weekend. We were in the clear and so off we went. After getting lost and getting stranded at the lake with no gas and no money with us to fill up and no food and not being able to find our friends with the money and food and camper we thought we would have to call home and have someone come get us. Finally we found our friends and had a fun trip (FYI I have never drank in my life, just so everyone knows). When we came home we got caught by Moni's dad and I ended up telling my mom the truth. She was really hurt and gave me that look of disappointment. I felt awful. What she said hurt the most was that while I was gone, my friends (who were looking for us at the lake) called my mom to see if she knew where we were or if we had called her. When they asked her she was confused and told them they were mistaken and that I was at a church lock in. My friends then realized that I had lied to my mom and kind of snickered on the phone and went along with her and added onto my lie.

The lesson learned: My mom said she felt so stupid and felt like a fool that she was left in the dark and that my friends were lying to her. I never realized why that was such a big deal.

The other night we went to TJ's parents house for a Halloween dinner and everyone dressed up. It was really fun. I had put my hair in sponge curlers and went as "Annie". I love TJ's family. But I felt like the outsider that night and felt like my mom did that day when I was 16. Since Chloe is on her "special diet" Mona was really sweet to make a dinner that she would be able to eat. However there were still things that she wasn't supposed to have. The part that sucked is when the rest of the family started to learn that I was keeping Chloe off certain foods they questioned and (I have tried to keep it on the DL so I wouldn't draw negative attention to the situation) I don't really want to be the Wierd or odd mom who isn't normal or be the food snob. I don't want to be that. ALL I want is for Chloe to feel better. That's it. And I know that I went about it the "odd" way by doing natural remedies and hair samples but I am trying. I'm just trying to be a good mom (and sometimes that means standing in a middle of a crowd with everyone pointing at you). And it just sucks when you get feelings like that from loved ones. I know my family is over the top and focus's too much on the natural way and they don't have a lot of tact and can very easily make you feel small and stupid and that you're the worst parent ever. They don't mean to. Their intentions are good. I feel bad because I know TJ feels like this all of the time when he is around my family. And it's not right. I don't care who you are, you should never make anyone feel like they are lesser of a person. It just sucks to walk into a room and know that everyone was talking about you, not agreeing with what you are doing and you are left in the dark feeling like a fool.

I am only 28. I am a young mom with young kids and I am still learning. I still have no clue what I am doing as a mom. I love them and try to play with them. I try to teach them and discipline them and raise them how I think they should be. But I am learning a lot from others. I depend on my mom to help me because SHE IS MY MOM. I look to her for advice and counsel. I look to TJ's mom for the same. They are both mothers of 6 and 7 kids and have a lot of experience and I love them both and want to be a great mother like the both of them are. I look to other moms and learn from them. I just don't want to be judged or ridiculed by it. I want my husband to view me as a good mom. That is what is really important to me.

So it's our new goal to have a large sum of money by January to put down on having our basement finished. I will have 2000 by then and TJ plans to sell his AWESOME road bike and whenever his truck sells adding in that money as well. I'm excited and I know it's totally doable and next year we will have an amazing basement to hang out in with 2 MORE BEDROOMS (possible for a new baby).

It also happens to be that we are broke this month and living on a tight budget with not a lot of room to move. And it weird to be honest. We have always been really blessed and have always had enough money to live comfortably. TJ has always had a great job and I never really had to go by a budget. Not like I spent a ton (none for that matter. It took me 5 years to be ok with spending "TJs" money and becoming comfortable with that. I have always been really thrifty and only just this past year did I start to spend more (still not a ton) and be fine with it. I just started to spend "TJs" money on his Christmas and birthday presents. I always had to use my hair money just because it was weird to me to buy Tj something with his own money. TJs new job has a lot of potential and I know it will become great and we will be in a very comfortable spot again but for now we have to be patient. And I think it is good for us. To think twice about eating out. To stick to my grocery list 100 percent. And to put all desires and wants aside and think about the bigger goal. Like our basement. I always put my hair money away for some big purchase that I know we wouldn't be able to get otherwise. Like our patio and patio furniture, our kitchen table, money for my car, 1000$ divided and put into our 72 hr kits. Food storage and other stuff. I feel very blessed to have the ability to bring in money for things like that. Any ways I am currently saving every penny to go towards the basement fund. HOWEVER...today there was this closing warehouse sale of all kinds of dress up dresses for kids. I don't know if you know this or not but I have 3GIRLS!!! I couldn't help myself. I put myself back a hair color or two and went crazy buying all the dresses I could. YOU CAN'T BEAT 5$ DRESSES!!! And being a mom of 3 girls I had to. They will only be small once and in a year or two Tallie won't want to dress up anymore. And when that day comes I will be soooooo sad. Little girls are so fun. I need to have a fancy tea party soon and have us all dress up and break out the real deal tea set. NO REGRETS on the buying the dresses. Actually I regret NOT BUYING MORE!!!

We also play Just Dance tonight and I currently hold the top score to Tic Tok and the Russian dance and Hey Ya! Ya I know, I'm the bomb.

It's fall break and we went to play mini golf and see a 3D movie (all free of course).

The end.

Pumpkin Patch

Every year we go to the pumpkin patch by our house to pick out the perfect pumpkins.

This year the place was packed and pretty cold.

I ran into an old friend from hair school and it was cool to catch up.

We met up with Tessa and Ian and rode the tractor around.

Not TJ's favorite thing.

The girls played in the corn pit and ran through the maze.

We lost Lexi for a minute and found her lost between the hay stacks.

Poor girl fell in the crack and only her tiny head was sticking out.

I think it was back in March that we decided as a family to make a goal to read our scriptures every night. The theme in primary was scripture related and the girls were learning a song about scripture power. So to keep the girls motivated I made a sticker chart and we told the girls that as we filled up each word with stickers we would have a fun family day doing something they really wanted to do. Most of the time they were really gung-ho and we kept pilling on stickers and others, well let's just say it took us months to fill up letters that should have taken weeks. And even though we didn't make a huge dent in the amount of chapters we read the important part is we made reading our scriptures a priority and I think we have grown closer together as a family. Plus it has really been helping Tallie and her reading, listening , pronunciation and comprehension skills. A lot of good things are coming from reading. So since we finished the girls went back and forth with whether we should go swimming at the indoor bucket pool or go to a movie at the theater. Swimming won and it was fun. Tallie was doing well showing us how to glide underwater and Chloe was a crazy woman going down the slide a million times in a row. Chloe also insisted that I address her as "fairy girl" all day. She corrected me if I forgot and by the end of the day it was pretty much annoying but whatever floats her boat. Afterwards we came home, ate dinner, then we had a movie night in the living room and watched "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs". It was a good night and now we are working on our new family day...wonder when we will get there.

I have been helping out in Tallie's class every Monday morning and it has been a really good eye opener for me. It is really sad to see some kids struggling all because their parents are not taking the time to teach them at home. Makes me want to be a better mom and be involved as much as I can. It's hard though. Some days I feel like a chicken running around with my head cut off.

Also the other night we stayed outside past dark, turned on some music and started a dance party with the neighbor kids right there in our backyard. A good memory. After we cuddled in our blankets on the couches until it got too chilly and we had to go in...I miss summer.

Kindergarten field trip to Pumpkinland

Tallie had her first field trip today and she was SUPER excited to ride on the BUS!!!

I'm pretty sure that was the highlight of the day.

Apparently bumpy bus rides are fun.

I went along to help chaperone and Tallie was so happy and I LOVE how right now she wants me to go and be around and she thinks I'm super cool.

It will be sad when the day comes when I'm not wanted.

I will live it up now and be there as much as I can.

Chloe: "Mom, were you nice when I was a baby?"

Me: "Yes, do you think I'm not nice now?"

Chloe: "No, you yell at me."

Sometimes kids just give it to you straight. And sometimes it really hurts. I obviously need to tone down my voice and start being nice.

Who doesn't love an iphone??

Tallie's Birthday PARTY!!

Are we so lame or what? Tallie's birthday is in September and here we are just now throwing her a party in October. The Saturday after Tallie's birthday TJ was out of town so we decided to hold off on her party until the next weekend. Well, her friend Maili beat us to the day and sent out invites for her party before we did. So once again we put it off until the next weekend. I asked TJ to make me some cute invites at work (stinkin' cute). Just as we were about the write the date on the cards we get a knock on the door with another party invite for the SAME DAY! That is when you know you have TOO many kids the same age in one neighborhood. Everyone is scrambling and fighting for a day to have their party. So we decided it needed to be Friday night and we change our park and game idea to a pajama party. Tallie invited 15 of her "closest" friends and we had everyone come in their P.J.s and bring their pillow. We hauled the HUGE love sac from the basement to upstairs (it was quite the process ) and pushed it next to the couch with the HUGE ottoman. We popped 11 bags of popcorn and Tallie chose to watch a barbie movie. It was cute watching Lexi on the couch in the middle of all those girls with her bowl of popcorn. She was loving being a "big" girl. After the movie the girls all went downstairs and had one huge PILLOW FIGHT! This party was the easiest, cheapest and the most fun! I would not be surprised if next year they ask for a pajama party again. Everyone left with huge smiles on their faces. Tallies smile was pretty big. I'm pretty sure she loved it.

The other day I overheard Tallie and her friend Elena talking. Tallie was asking Elena if she remembered her friend Skyler who used to live close by. Elena did. Tallie then asked if she remembered Skyler's brother...

Tallie: "I think Skylers brother is cute."

Elena: "You have a crush on him?!"

Tallie: "NO! I just think he is cute. He is tall, has red hair and lots of freckles."

Looks like Tallie and I think alike.

It's October 6th and it is snowing.

I guess it could be worse...4 years ago it snowed in September.

Chloe and I made homegrown pumpkin bread while Tallie was at school and my whole house smells like the Holidays.

I am kinda excited!

The other morning Becky and I went to this power pump class at 6am and got our trash kicked.

I am still SO SORE.

The other night for family home evening we acted out the Book of Mormon story of the Brother of Jared. Since the girls love pillows we gathered every pillow around the house and made a boat out of them. Then the girls put on their backpacks and went on a hunt to find "16 stones" to light up the boat. When they found them all (hidden throughout the house) I made them walk up and down the stairs with their heavy backpacks on to feel the labor the Brother of Jared felt.

Is that mean?

We ended the night with a pillow fight and like always laughed our heads off.

I have mountains of clothes at the top of the stairs waiting for me to take downstairs and put away in summer/too small totes.

I lost my steam after cleaning and restocking the closets with fall/winter clothes.

I have been doing loads of hair lately which I am grateful for the extra money.

So glad to have a way to earn income as a stay at home mom.

I helped out in Chloe's class the other day and it was a lot of fun and Chloe thought it was so cool to be able to sit by me at school.

Soon we are off to gymnastics...

Last week I sent in a hair sample from Chloe to figure out what is going on in her tiny body. I feel like in her short 4 years in my care she has been more often sick than not. She currently has this crazy cough that has lasted for the past 7 months. Some days are better than others and then there are some days where she just looks miserable. Coughing, watery eyes, pink eye, puffy eyes, and sneezing like crazy. I felt like there was more going on than just the outside stuff. I felt like she was happy and would play and run but always felt crappy but didn't know that wasn't "normal" to feel that way, like she has always just felt crappy.

When the Doctor called me with her report (this is a natural Doctor who a lot of people are skeptical of because they don't consider them "real Doctors") he said that I had a really sick and unhealthy 4 year old. He said she has candida and is food sensitive to dairy (her life support), eggs, and red and yellow food dyes, and MSG (which is pretty much in everything). He said her Lymph system, kidneys, spleen, and liver were clogged with toxic materials and her body was not functioning the way it should and flushing those things out and instead storing them. Her immune system is struggling and has a hard time fighting off any sicknesses. Chloe is extremely picky when it comes to eating and really only eats dairy and fruits. I can get her to eat some veggies if she dips them in ranch dressing (full of MSG). He said that she is extremely vitamin and mineral deficient. I totally sat there on the phone and cried as I listened to him tell me about my sick child who is sick because of what I give her to eat. It was a big wake up call. I am her source of nutrition and nurture and I am in control of keeping her body healthy. I am her mother. If I don't care what she eats then neither will she. I feel like a horrible mom. For the next 4 weeks I need to keep her off of dairy and watch the labels for food dyes and MSG. I am at a loss for what to feed her. This is extremely hard and challenging for me because I don't like to cook and I don't know how and it overwhelms me but to get her healthy I need to learn and buy whole foods and prepare them myself. I have a formula of essential oils to rub on her feet every night to help clear up the mess. How do I pump vitamins/minerals into a girl who refuses? But no matter the cost, ridicule from friends, or hard work, I need to do this, for Chloe (and the other girls who I am sure are just as bad but their bodies handle it better). I know that a lot of sickness that people have now are caused from the types of food we eat. Everything is processed, pumped full of hormones and we are surrounded by crappy not real food. I feel like there are two types of doctors: natural path and regular. For me they go hand in hand and I know that Heavenly Father has given man the knowledge to make medicines to heal our bodies. However I don't think that Heavenly Father would send us down to earth without other ways to heal ourselves. Everything on the earth was put her for the benefit of man and so I know that there are tons of natural remedies. Our bodies are amazing and so complex. Just the fact that our skin can heal a cut and repair itself is awesome. We weren't sent here to just rely on mans power but to rely on the earth, which is Heavenly Fathers power. However, if we treat our bodies poorly and and fill them with crap and synthetic and toxic waste and don't exercise and don't eat any "real" food from the earth our bodies will shut down and become sick. Bottom line is that I need to make better choices for my kids and teach them how to make good choices for themselves.

I am sick today and tried to go running this morning and it was such a sad sight. I was determined to do 11. So with no energy, crazy winds, and an achy foot, I finally made it home (there was quite a bit of walking done and a couple of yard sale stops). Tallie changed her first diaper today. I saw Lexi walking around the house in different clothes than what I had dressed her in and Tallie said that her diaper was wet so she changed it and put new clothes on her. WOW! Just like little Lexi was a doll. And she did a REALLY good job at putting that diaper on. When I told her she could change her diapers anytime they needed to be she was excited, just not the poopy ones.

I went to "Savors" today with Chloe to look for a Halloween costume. We didn't find the one she loved but I found a dress and two way cute shirts that I am totally stoked about! There is just something about finding cute clothes at a thrift store or yard sale! I love being able to reply to a comment of "That's cute! Where did you get it?" with SAVORS for a couple $$$s!