Take back day

Today is one of those days that I wish I could just erase and start all over. I wish that I had done everything different, starting from the second I woke up. I wish I would have gone running, I wish I would have had control and stopped stuffing sugar into my face, I wish I would have not rushed the kids out to school or spent a little one on one time with Lexi this morning. Most of all I wish that I wouldn't have been so selfish and caught up in all of my own woes and stupid non important things and been a loving and caring mom, because then I would have been in touch with how each of my kids were feeling and I would have known that they needed me and I would have known just  how each of them needed comforting. I was grumpy today and I don't even remember saying anything nice really or taking the time to love on my kids. All I did was yell and order the kids around. I didn't know that Tallie had a bad day at school. I didn't know that she played at both recesses alone and that she sat alone while she ate her lunch. What she needed was to  come home and know that her home was her safe haven and that she had a mother there waiting for her to give her a big hug and tell her how much I love her and missed her today and that I was her friend who would always be there for her. Instead I treated her just like she had been feeling all day at school. And all of the annoying, irritating things she did all day that drove me nuts was her just looking for my attention, some love. I didn't know that Chloe was feeling low and that she didn't know why she felt sad today. Lexi was crazy tonight and bugging and pestering everyone. She needed attention and some structured play, instead of being ignored all day while I got all of MY things done.

I'm just glad that I took the time tonight to sit and talk with the girls and have these conversations and to hear what it is that is going on in their lives and how they are feeling. I'm glad they opened up to me. It was an eye opener tonight. My kids always need me. I am their rock and if they can't rely on me to be their soft spot to fall and to talk to then I have failed as a mom. I need to give more hugs, more kisses, more encouragement, more laughs and more one on one moments.

I am so lucky that children are so forgiving and forgetful of all of their mothers faults and that they give me second chances millions of times.

Tomorrow is a new day and I want to be a new mom.

Goodbye Facebook, you distract me from what is most important, my life, with my kids, right now.

Spanish program

Here are a couple pics from the sleepover with Sophie.

The other night the girls had their spanish program. They had been practicing for months and it was so cute to hear them singing songs in spanish around the house and pulling up spanish videos on YouTube and singing along. They both did great and I am so proud of them both. Chloe has climbed over mountains to get to where she is. I didn't really know if they would love spanish immersion or not but they really do and its so neat to see how much they are learning. 

I love how independent she is and how well she entertains herself. She is always busy and talking and making me smile.

Lexi bits

Last night Lexi comes to me and she has dressed herself, all by herself, in her PJs. She was so excited that she finally did it herself. Her shirt may have been on inside out but it didn't matter, it was on. She informed me she wasn't wearing any panties under those jammies...they came right off with her pants and she forgot to put them back on. It didn't matter. Because she is so darn cute. It's little things like this that I will miss when my kids are grown. I just want these innocent days to last forever.



In other news the Boston Marathon will be forever changed. One of the greatest races was the target of a violent act and 3 are dead and hundreds wounded and thousands changed. It really saddens me that someone could even conceive a plan like this.

Spring Break

I think that I was more excited about spring break than the kids were. I was ready for no schedules and no carpooling and just having some good time with my kiddos. I think the very first day of our vacation which really starts Friday as soon as school is over the girls wanted a late over with Elena and Callie and they watched a cute movie "Wreck it Ralf". We went to the library one day (Tallie is always sad when we go while she is at school). The weather was super nice and the kids spent most of their days outside riding bikes and moterized scooters and playing cops and robbers. Jamie Garrett came down one day to get her hair done and to leave Sophie for a sleepover with her cousins. We rented "Rise of the Gaurdians" and had popcorn and candy and stayed up way too late. The girls all wanted to sleep on the floor with Sophie instead of their own beds. In the morning we met Tessa and her kids up at the zoo and let me just say right now that I WILL NEVER go to the zoo again during spring break. I literally think that every person in Utah had the same idea. It was a mad house and I hope that the kids had even a tiny bit of fun. To make sure they went home with happy memories we stopped for ice cream before heading home. That put smiles on everyones faces. Tj and the girls did another craft date at Home Depot and made birdhouses and then he took them out to lunch. It was a great week and was sad to send them all back to school yesterday. Thankgoodness we only have 6 more weeks of school left.

The other day TJ had no work, they observe Good Friday at his work and I told him to meet me at Ikea. Kasen had a hip ultra sound in Riverton so I wanted to stop on my way back home. He met me and I tell you when Tj and I go to Ikea together its bad news. But really fun because Tj gets pretty generous with money and we were able to figure out some stuff to do in the basement. We got a desk for the computer and like a wall unit desk thing for the kids area. We had cart after cart of boxes and boxes of furniture. You would have thought we were buying the whole store. I think we spent like 3 hours there. And while it was fun spending money, it's also stressful for me and decorating and I came home with a HUGE STRESS headache that I went to bed with that night. By the end of the shopping trip I was sweating and feeling like the place was caving in on me and I just wanted to run away. This whole basement thing is pretty stressful for me. And we had forgotten a few things and so TJ told me I could get away the next night without kids and go back to shop...I made him a list and sent him. I was not going back.

On another note the other day we were driving in the car and this country song comes on and I'm about the change the channel and Chloe yells at me to keep it. She then starts to sing all of the words. I'm like "where did you even hear this song? I have never even heard it before, and you know all the words!?" she replied that she loved the song and just knows it. I'm still baffled to where she heard it and enough times too where she learned all of the words. Too funny.

Easter

 I was kinda bummed that Easter came in March this year.

Because that means no flowers, a good chance of cold weather, snow even, and prickly dead grass.

Much to my surprise however the weather was in the 60s and super nice.

I have to "take back" a comment I made about Easter last year about coloring eggs and how it was just a silly tradition that had nothing to do with Easter. Well I am wrong. And it makes so much sense that I can't believe I didn't get it before. The egg symbolizes new birth. And that has SO much to do with Easter and Jesus being resurrected. He gave us new birth and that we can be resurrected also and we can always repent and start a new life. We taught that to the kids this year so that they know why it is we color eggs and search for them. I don't want them to think like I did and be almost THIRTY (ya that right, big year for me) before they learn the meaning behind easter eggs.

Anyways we had a great dinner of ham and all of the other good stuff with Tessa and Ian and their family. We had an easter egg hunt with like a MILLION eggs (that I keep collecting year after year).  I got some really cute pictures of my sweet kids, all of them smiling even!

I Love my Savior and all that He has done for me and all that He continues to do for me. And I want my kids to know that I love Him.

Big sister love

I often find Chloe curled up next to Kasen just lovin' on him.

Here he is just relaxing doing some tummy time and Chloe just stroking his barley there hair.

You can tell he loves her presence because of how calm and peaceful he is.

Sassy girl

This girl makes me smile.

She is so darn cute and sassy that it just kills me.

I love how she is still so tiny that she can fit into almost anything.

She has a BIG heart with BIG personality!