2019: new year, new goals

Last year I made a goal to start writing again. And at the end of the year I didn't write once. Which is so lame so I have renewed that goal and already doing better this year! haha! Its hard to find the time to sit and really write what I want and because I do Chatbooks its hard to sit down and RE write about stuff I have already put into my chatbook. BUT I do not go into much detail or write all of the things I want and all of my feelings because I don't need all of social media knowing my thoughts and personal stories and Im sure my girls don't want their friends reading about all of their lives. Plus Lexi mentioned the other day that she missed the BIG books I used to write. So here I am. With this new year that have been lots of church changes. 2 HOUR CHURCH for one. 11 years olds moving up and going to the TEMPLE and even changes in the temple which I haven't been able to see for myself just yet. Hopefully next week I can get back to my every Friday temple visit. Which by the way is the best thing I've decided to do. Since school has started I told myself I would try and go weekly. It has been so great. I definitely have a lot on my plate and mornings without Kasen are full of hair and helping in his and Lexi's class and grocery shopping and going to Tessa's class at the Clyde Center and going over to Sister Kelloggs for my crochet lesson. BUT I noticed when I picked a day and plan around it I seem to get everything done I need to so lesson learned is to make the temple a priority in your life and you will be blessed. So Chloe is now in Young Women's and its so crazy! She is so tiny and can't believe that suddenly Tallie is a Miamaid.  Even though Chloe just turned 11 she is with all the big girls and seems like my kids are just sprinting to adult hood. I'm nervous YW's might make her grow up too fast but I guess that is the way of the world and the younger the younger the kids the harder Satan is attacking so we are preparing them. I can't wait to take Chloe to the temple for the first time. And P. S. Im finally in YW's as the Laurel advisor so its fun to be with my girls and to learn from all of the young women in our ward.

I visited my friend Kristy Wilkins today. She is the kind of friend that it doesn't matter the distance or how long its been we will always be friends. I LOVE being around her and talking with her. Her mom just passed away and just talking with her just makes me so dread my own parents and TJS parents growing older. Parents just seem invincible like they will always be around. It was hard to talk about it. Not sure how I will ever cope when its my turn to go thru that.

TJ applied for yet another job to replace Dealer Socket which he hates so much. He had his final interview yesterday and will hear back tomorrow if he gets it or not. He also started online school this week. Data Science. Still in the bishopric as well so he has a full plate. Hoping we can all survive this year and be able to squeeze in a little fun along the way.

Tallie first time to the temple and Young Womens

Tallie is SUCH a GOOD girl and I am so proud to be her mom! She has a sweet, tender heart, never complains too much, loves learning is caring and super responsible. She strives to do whats right and is hurt when she sees her friends making poor decisions or treating others unkind. She wants to serve a mission one day and is always wanting to go to the temple and often times wakes up early to go before school. She is not afraid to ask her friends to join her and is excited about family history work. Going to the temple with her for her first time was oh so sweet and just about the best thing a mom can experience with her children. She loves Young Womens and is always taking notes on what she learned in class on Sunday. She is a great example to her friends!

TJ and Tallie go to D.C.

Tj and I have talked for awhile now about taking Tallie to Washington, D.C.  She is really interested in history and has learned about it all in school and we just knew she would really love this experience, especially with just going with her dad. When TJ was about her age he went along on a business trip with his dad to D.C. and says it was the best trip ever and loved the one on one time with his dad. SO we watched for good deals on flights for awhile and luckily they came when we could take advantage of a free place to stay with Travis and Sam before they move out to Utah next year. I was so excited for the both of them and they both had so much fun and I am so glad this little trip was able to happen.

Coyote Gulch

Many years ago TJ took me on my first backpacking trip to this place called Coyote Gulch. And as soon as I got there I KNEW we needed to somehow get the kids down there. It wouldn't be easy. With either an 8 mile hike in the hot sun with backpacks on in the sand, or a 3 mile hike in the sun with a climb down...both extremely hard for kids. But once you finally get there, its like a little slice of heaven. Just quiet and serene. An oasis from the world. For me its so enticing because not just anyone is going to camp there and not just anyone can get there so its special to experience a place not everyone will. Its really the perfect place for kids. Ankle deep wide river running thru to play in and sandy camp sites. We did our homework, got all the gear you could ever need and planned it all out just right. We prepared so well. The kids did great on the hike in, well once I relieved them from their packs and I carried three that is. Tj did great setting up the ropes and harnesses for the kids and carrying Kasen on his back on the way down into the gulch. We had made it in and everything went according to plan. Until it got dark and the bats took over our campsite so we had to walk with the packs again in the river at 10pm in the dark looking for a new campsite. The kids weren't a fan of the poisen ivy taking over the trail to the black lagoon. And our first mistake came when we hiked the kids 7 miles the first day. Down the river to see waterfalls and such. I'm still not sure why neither one of us thought much of that and why we just didn't think. The day was still fun just super exhausting. We forgot one sleeping pad so I slept on the sand which really feels like concrete. Lexi got super sick coughing that night and echoed the canyon ALL night. Luckily I had brought medicine but she felt awful all night. Next day Kasen woke up not able to walk because his little legs were so tired and sore from all the miles the day before. And we still had the hike out. Again not sure what we were thinking. As well as we were prepared we were not prepared to sit on the rock in the hot sun for hours on end while waiting our turn to climb up out of the gulch. Why we didn't refill water while waiting or tell the people who were wanting to use our ropes to wait until we were done I'll never understand and I'll never forgive myself. I put my kids at deaths door and I am SO THANKFUL that we all made it out ok. I watched my kids throw up with heat stroke, almost collapse from heat and exhaustionlearned a lot about ourselves, each other and our Heavenly Father. We can do hard things. They all did things they didn't think they could do. overcame fears and pushed through when their little bodies wanted to give up. It took Chloe a full week or more to fully recover physically from this excursion. She was just so sick. I don't think I have fully recovered still from this trip. As a mom I never thought I would see my kids in such a situation and knowing that I full on put them in it. Having to watch them push so hard to get out. Its definetly not a proud mom moment for sure.

. I saw them climb with heavy packs on with tears running down their faces feeling like they couldn't take another step. I watched my husband start to shut down with every few steps he took. I did things I didn't think I could do. I have never in my life felt so depleted and exhausted both physically and mentally as I watched my kids trudge through the sand with it burning their legs and not being able to pick them up and carry them home. When I literally thought we would drop all our gear just a mile from the car because I didn't think we could take another step. When I stopped to drop gear and pick my little boy up to relieve his little feet to comfort him and hold him I didn't know what to do or how we were going to get out of this. My little kids were hot, exhausted and I had no water to give them. No shade and no arms to carry them. I said a prayer. And a minute later up in the distance I could see the man and his daughter who we let use our rope coming back for us. He followed the prompting he got from the Holy Ghost saying to drop his stuff and turn back to help the family. Him and his 13 year old daughter came back for us and took our heavy loads off our backs so that we could pick up our children. I will NEVER forget this experience. I KNOW that prayers are answered and that we are NEVER alone and that we are always being watched over. Angels are everywhere and I am forever grateful to that man and his sweet daughter for carrying us when we couldn't carry ourselves. I get sick when I think about just how close to the brink of death some of us were. How close some of my kids were to not making it. How different this trip could have turned out. We all