TJs turns 37 and Tallie needs stitches

 It seems so crazy to me that Tj hit 37!  I always felt like the upper 30s were old. You know, so close to 40 and all. But really its not. We are still young and I don't feel like TJ is old. His birthday was on Sunday this year so we went out Saturday night to PF Changs and then to Swigg for some sugar cookies. And then a movie at home since there was nothing out. Nothing fancy but so nice since I feel like it has been awhile since we have had a date. I wanted to get him Real soccer tickets but he has a campout on the same weekend so that crushed my plans. Sunday morning the kids and I actually MILLED our own einkorn flour from the wheat berries! When we were out at Tandys house she made us einkorn flour waffles and they were so good. Even Tj asked for the recipe. So for his birthday breakfast in bed we made him waffles. The kids made him cards and Star Wars pearl beads. We went rollerbladeing, went on a walk and then to church. I made carne asada tacos for dinner. His dad always makes them and they are so good and Tj loves them. It was my first time and I need to get better at it but it was still good. We had his favorite lemon cake for desert. I hope TJ knows how much he is loved and I so hope this year is good to him!

 Yesterday I got a call from the school saying that Tallie had a little accident playing basketball at recess and that I needed to go pick her up. Now this is when I hate doing hair since I was litterally in the middle of putting color on someone. So I had to hurry and slap it on, set a timer for her so she could wash while I was gone. I had to grab all the little kids that were playing at my house and shove them in my car. I felt so bad for Tallie! She got pretty banged up. We had to go get stitches, which for Tallie is NOT an easy thing to do. I do not doubt this girl to one day actually punch the doctor in the face. A whole nother side of her comes out. Thankfully TJ knew this so he left work early to come help deal with the situation since he knew I would have the other kids. Who luckily it was just Lexi since the others went to friends at the last second. Lexi cried tho, it was hard to see Tallie so sad. Didn't take too long and then Tallie was asking to play in her soccer game. Since it was raining and slippery we didn't think that would be such a good idea. It would have been bad news if she would have taken a ball to the face or an elbow or had slipped and fallen. Lucky for us it was also soccer picture night. She was a good sport and took the pics. I just hate it when kids get hurt. So sad.

 Kasen has entered a BIG phase and it starts the moment he opens his eyes. Please wish me luck in being patient on a daily minute by minute basis.

I love that the girls love to play soccer. They both get excited and happy and both have improved so much! Chloe loves to play goalie and so TJ bought her some gloves. She is such a fireball on the field and she really wants to try out for the Storm team. That will be so fun to watch!

Hair

I have such a love/hate relationship with hair that I can't even stand it!!!! I can't stand the time it takes away from everything else. I can't stand the appointments. I can't stand the girls at the beauty supply or the bad rep that hairstylist get. I hate the trends, old school foils. I hate that I really think that I am color blind and that is quite possible the reason why I struggle so much with color. I can't tell when something is too warm, cool tones, brassy, the difference between a level 7 and 8. I have trouble with the color wheel and what colors compliment and what colors counteract. And as someone who colors hair you might wonder how do I even do it? I fake it! And just by luck and chance sometimes I get it right and others not so much. I hate redos and not being able to create on hair what is in my head. I hate that I have NO LICENSE and that I am having to take all of my tests over and pay a TON of money to get it back. I hate relying on others to buy my color for me. I hate the most that I couldn't pass the dumb barber portion of the test and that I have to retake the whole thing over! I am so stressed and I hate that I haven't been keeping up on the new trends and color techniques and that I am trying to learn all of that at the same time as trying to practice and get ready to take my test,,,again. I hate that I am chickening out taking an awesome balayage workshop from an amazing colorist because I'm too scared and don't fell like I can hang with the big kids. I hate that its $300 which I had saved for but ended up spending that and more just to get my license back and stock up on color until I do. I really need to get professionally trained in balayage and hairpainting and I so need to take a color class. I'll save all the details about the last few months and coming to find out I needed to re take all my tests. I spare you on the crying and screaming and bitterness. I once did feel a little peace a month back about the good things that have come from having to re do all this. Like the time I wanted to quit hair all together and was seriously gonna just drop it but then found out I didn't have a license and that all of a sudden it wasn't my choice to give it up. And then it hit me that I really didn't want to let it go. I want to fight for it and become good and keep up with it and be someone who people actually want to come to.I didn't want to become my mom or my sister not be able to keep up. I wanted to raise prices and have people say I was so worth the money. I didn't want people to come to me because I was cheap and did okay. It is such a roller coaster. Some days I have confidence, some days not an ounce. I guess and second guess and think too much. With all my colors I can go back and say I would have done this, changed that, wouldn't have done that. Never happy with what I do. Will there ever be a time when I can say I liked it all and there wasn't one thing I would have done differently? I feel like I'm back in school just starring at every persons hair I see wondering and trying to figure out how that color was done, what color formula did they use, how could I fix that, what could I do to that persons hair? I hate it and it is so consuming! And the only way I am learning is to follow and read instagram posts from hair people and try to connect all the dots to the new lingo. Many hours watching You Tube videos. It is so hard and I wish it would all just go away. I will say that I have learned a great deal the last couple months and have come a long way. I have attempted many new things and am learning what works and what doesn't. I can't even bring my self to use a foil like I used to. I have completely changed my game from everything I have ever known or did for the last 10 years in the last two months. But it for sure comes at a price. Today for example was a bad hair day. A bad color job. A fixer. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to stare at my own work all the time cause I see these people all the time. And its so hard to have your name all over something and have everyone know that you did that.

Live and learn, lots of trial and error. 

I need a break.

Lately

SO I am having major depressions issues with knowing that Lexi will be gone all day in 1st grade next year. I know I prob say that alot and that I sound like a broken record but its so true! SO after she gets out of kindergarten we have been going to the rec center, out to ice cream and to the park for picnics. The other kids get jealous and sad about missing out but when they were little I used to take them weekly to a little place called Jumping Jacks. Every week. I just can't believe I will only have one at home with me next year. Kasen has actually been playing with Lance Lane a lot lately. Which has been such a prayer anwered! I was so worried he wouldn't have any little friends to play with and keep him company during the days but him and Lance have been going back and forth between houses and it has been so GREAT! Kasen even stayed in primary for the first time last week because of his new found freedom and comfort level with Lance. Its awesome too that I love nicole so I can have a friend sometimes too. 

 The kids were so good about watching General Conference this year. It was actually pretty peaceful and they listened and asked questions. 

 Kasen is obsessed with Vanilla Waffers. Only the minis tho. He can always be seen with the box in hand. He is so adorable and funny lately but also going thru a pretty hard phase. For me anyways. LOTS and lots of tantrums and screaming and fit throwing. Sometimes like 45 times before lunch time. Wish me luck and hopefully the stage is passing soon.

 Lexi had her spanish program at school the other night and she was so dang cute! I couldn't be more proud! She sang and danced her little heart out and just smiled and beamed. I love love love this dual immersion program!

I love having a boy! Kasen is so fun and although he does like to play with the girls and get his nails painted and all that jazz when he is alone he is all boy. I filled up the water table today since it was like 80 degrees and first thing he does is fill it up with rocks  and sticks. And when TJ was fixing the sprinklers tonight he just stayed by his side watching, asking questions and helping with any tools he could.