Tonight we had cereal for dinner.

I was too lazy to make real food and I was tired of all of the cereal boxes that had just enough cereal left for one bowl.

Plus it was so nice outside and I couldn't bring myself to go inside and cook.

Now we are cereal-less.

Probably better since it has no nutritional value, substance, or anything filling about it.

Sometimes I am a really good mom.

Feeding ducks

For Family Home Evening yesterday Tessa asked us to go feed the ducks with her and her friend Becca (TJ was out of town). As always the ducks were crazy and one even got up in my lap to grab the whole loaf of bread out of my hands. Chloe was afraid they were going to peck her to death. I was a little afraid myself. We had a a nice lesson on service, thanks to Tessa. It was nice to get together to take my mind off wishing TJ were home (I am really grateful he has a job though don't get me wrong).

Today just Tallie and I went to church.

Chloe was coughing her lungs up so I thought it best she stay home.

I was really missing Relief Society today, my CTR 4's were crazy.

TJ is back home and I am oh so happy.

But he leaves again tomorrow.

I'm getting excited for Fall...which is weird because it usually makes me sad.

I think because the girls are older and in school, the routine makes it better.

Yesterday I took the crew garage sale hopping with me.

They were as giddy as me.

I found brand new in the box Christmas ornaments, A TON OF THEM.

I also bought a wreath for the Spring (always thinking of spring).

Tallie learned to tie her shoe yesterday and now she can't stop tying and untying.

She was beaming, and so was I.

Chloe asked to take the training wheels off her bike (the peer pressure of seeing her friends take theirs off got the best of her).

She is doing pretty well considering her legs are so darn short.

I finally get to go running outside and ditch the treadmill tomorrow since TJ is now home.

I'M EXCITED!

I'm also a nerd because of it.

Tallie turns 6!!!!!

I can't believe that Tallie is already 6!

Seems like just yesterday I was rocking her and nursing her to sleep. She is such a sweetheart and is always helping with her younger sisters. She loves to learn and go to school. She is becoming more confident each day and overcoming her shyness. She LOVES gymnastics and is always practicing her tricks. She still loves to change her clothes all day and play with friends. She loves to color and craft and ride her bike. She wants to be independent and do things on her own and says she can't wait to be 16 and driving.

SLOW DOWN!

For her birthday we took her to the "Sweet Tooth Fairy" (a cupcake shop) and let her pick out her own gourmet cupcake. We went to "Jump on It" (trampolines galore and a foam pit) and all 3 girls were in Heaven.

Here's Lexi saying "Cheese!" for the camera.

A big trend in fashion right now is feathers in your hair. Are we so weird or what? We are putting real duck feathers in our hair and we think we are sooo cool. Hunters are kinda P.O.ed because we are upping the cost of bird feathers. Well all Tallie wanted was to have one (like a lot of her friends) so i surprised her with one for her birthday. She was a bit sad it wasn't pink. I thought we better stay the "natural" route.

This is her birthday morning. We did all of our family celebrating the night before because TJ had to fly out early on her birthday for work.

We have these neighbors that live close by who I really like. We have yet to really hang out with them but the wife was my music chorister in Relief Society when I was in the Presidency. I have always taken their family Christmas treats and have told TJ many times that I think we should become friends with them. Last year the husband sang and played his guitar at the Christmas party. He is in a band for a living and really good. He is really funny and so is she.

I just found out today that he was arrested for rape of a 3 year old girl who lives across the street.

I am just SHOCKED and somewhat in denial. With the pictures and detail to story that the toddler drew and told you can't not believe her. No child wants to say the things she said. Most kids would be embarrassed to mutter the words she had to say. So you know she is not lying. I can't even imagine the guilt I would carry to be that toddlers mom knowing that I sent her to play and sent her to that situation. Knowing that this child while enduring the pain is wishing for her mom to rescue her and protect her. I know that it wouldn't be my fault but I am the protector of my children and when things happen to them I can't help but think "if only I would have kept her home.." I don't know how I would function if something like that were to happen to one of my kids. I can't imagine what the wife of the rapist feels. Does she believe him when he says he didn't? You would want to believe your husband but at the same time would you wonder if he has done anything to your own daughter while you were away. She is talking about moving. She has been shunned by her neighbors. I feel so awful for her.

Makes me think about my family and how we always need to be on our guard. No matter where we live (even in mormon ville). You can never be too careful or too lenient with your kids. The people who sexually abuse kids are almost always friends, family and neighbors. People you are close to. Makes me sick.

Happy Birthday BOB!

Sunday was Bob's 66th birthday (I think).

We celebrated by eating roast and ridiculously bad for you but oh so good potatoes and lemon cake.

I really love TJ's dad.

The first time I met him he pulled me in for a great big bear hug.

I've never been huge on hugging but it was nice and he has always made me feel like apart of the family even before I actually was.

I'm very lucky to have him as my father in law and my kids are even more lucky to have him as their grandpa.

He sure loves to spoil them.

(I get spoiled too).

Top of Utah Marathon

The big race day finally came!

After all the early morning runs and over 400 miles ran I was ready to run my first marathon.

I have to say that I never thought I would ever run a marathon in my life. Never had the desire and never thought I could physically do it. But once I started running and once I got over that "5 mile hump" I can't stop thinking about running. I LOVE it. I love the feeling I get, I love the sweating and the rush of racing and seeing progression. I think I may be addicted.

It was such an awesome experience and I am so glad that Deidra, Tyler and I did it together. The Bradshaws came into town on Thursday night and stayed at my house. We stayed up way too late talking about the big day, our nerves and fears. Most of all I was excited. I'm pretty sure I have never pooped so much in my life (thats what I do when I get nervous, I poop). On Friday we hung out all day with Tessa and then when my dad got into town (my mom was not able to come because of her siatic nerve, I was so sad knowing that she wouldn't be here to cheer us on, she is the glue that holds our family together) we drove up to Bob and Mona's so that I could drop the kids off there to have a sleepover (TJ was going there after work) and go to a princess concert. We drove up to Logan to pick up our racing packets and eat some dinner. I'll save all the details and just say that we were in the car for a LONG time. I was with my dad and him and I in a car is not a good combo due to the fact we are brainless when it comes to directions. We were lost...over and over again. Finally at like 11:15pm we find our hotel in Ogden. I was about to have a nervous breakdown because I was supposed to wake up in 3 hours to run the race! We wake up in the morning after I swear we just layed down and Justin took us and dropped us off where the buses were loading. It was a nice ride up getting to talk with Deidra, I really love her and her advice. Once at the top right as the race was to start it started to pour rain. I'm pretty sure it rained 95% of the time. And when I say rain I mean it was as if I had jumped into a pool with my clothes and shoes on and then went running. I was soaked. My shoes where slouching and my face dripping and I was having trouble seeing because of all the rain. It was cold. At one point it hailed on us and it hurt. But it was AWESOME!! When else would I have run in the pouring rain to the point where I was soaked? It was really cool and I actually wouldn't trade it for sunny weather. Deidra on the other hand would have. Every one of her toes on her feet had blisters on them because of the wet shoes. When we took our shoes off after our feet were bright white and grossly pruned. My stragedy for the race was to run slower that normal for the first 13 miles so I could save energy and run the second half with speed and energy. When I got to mile 18 I was shocked I was already there because I felt so good. The picture above is me at mile 21 I think and I was so happy because I had just seen TJ's parents and then TJ and my sweet girls. And I really needed to see them when I did. I was loosing it and wanted to quit. There was nothing like coming around that corner and seeing TJ and my girls sitting in the back of the car under a blanket and having them wave to me. It kept me going. Soon after I saw Tessa pass by in her car which was another big boost but once they were gone I hit my wall again. When I stopped to walk thru the water station (I have to stop and drink water or none of it goes in my mouth) I felt like my legs were going to give. It was actually harder to walk than to run. So I made myself keep going. Plus I didn't want family to see me walking. TJ passed by me agin in the car and drove for a minute next to me. I wanted to open the door and jump in. He told me I only had 2 more miles, that was it. Little did he know that what he was saying translated into you only have 2 more mountains to climb, thats it. A little less than a mile to go I see Tessa and she starts to run with me. It made me cry. Which I had to stop doing that immediately because it's ridiculously hard to cry and run at the same time. You can't breath. She helped me finsih and I love her for doing that. I mustered up enought energy to run my fastest to the finish line passing Justin, Savanna, Sadie, Coby, TJ, Tallie, Chloe, Lexi, Bob and Mona, Tandy and Tyler (who sadly beat me) cheering me on. It was something I will never forget. I finally did it. I wish it could have been the time I wanted. I really thought I would come in under 4:20 but after having to wait in line twice to go to the bathroom (which I never have to do) and basically crawling through mile 23 to 26 I came in at 4:38. And even though as I was running I told TJ I would never do this again I'm starting to ask myself already, Will I? I proboly will. But I think I will have a baby first. However I will be running the Halloween half again this year. I have 5 weeks to get ready to get finally get out of the 1:50's for a half marathon. It should be cake compared to what I just did. I love LONG runs and I think I am crazy. I'm going running tommorrow! After the race and a million pictures we went out to eat with the whole family and then we headed over to the condo that my dad got for the weekend. It was fun being with the family and having the cousins play together. On Sunday afternoon Tj and I and the kids said our goodbyes and went to spend the eveing with TJ's family because it was Bob's birthday. It was a really great weekend.

Today was a good day.
The girls and I rode our bikes to school and then Lexi and I took a bike ride just the two of us.
We picked half the peaches off the "half" peach tree and I made peach jam for the first time.
It was good.
I like learning things that make me feel like a "mom" and creating memories for my kids.
I picked the girls up from school and later did Tessa's hair.
I took dinner to a friend who had surgery
and then had dinner with my own family,
Homework went well as well as reading our scriptures.
We ended the night with lullaby's and kisses.
I love days like these.
Tomorrow the girls are dying to take slurpees to the park.
I think I can make that happen.

Today I had a bad day. I guess it has been more like a bad week. Not sure what my deal is but I have been such a beast lately. Today was especially bad. Picking up Tallie from school I realized that today was the first day where the parents were supposed to start helping out in the classrooms. TODAY WAS MY DAY!! And I left Mrs. Carpenter hanging and forgot to show up. I feel AWFUL. She was counting on me to help with the lessons she had prepared and then to realize no one was showing up. I'm sure she said a few choice words about me in her head (I did).

And I got suckered into being the room parent for her class and I just gave myself a really good reputation. Now I am just dreading the whole year of party planning and field trips. It was a low point for me. I hate being unreliable and having people thinking I'm a flake. My bad mood continued throughout the day and when it came time to do homework I made it miserable for everyone. I was frustrated with Chloe and her letters and Lexi who just wanted to be in the middle of it all and Tallie who wouldn't listen. For crying out loud I made Chloe cry over the letter "U" and now she has a bad taste in her mouth for learning (just like I had growing up because my dad would always get frustrated with me). I grabbed Lexi and shut myself in her room, sat down and started rocking her. I needed some peace. As she was falling asleep I just rocked her and cried. I feel like such a horrible mother/person today. We ended the night on a higher note after I had a time out. We read our scriptures and I felt the Spirit return and we said our prayers and everyone went to bed with a smile on their face. Patience is definitely a challenge for me it does not come easy.

Lexi did learn how to pedal and ride her tricycle today. She is only 20 months and so small its cute to see her ride a bike. She also has been peeing in the potty and that makes me so happy. I haven't been super consistant so I wouldn't say that I am potty training but I think I will get serious with it next week after my race on Saturday.

For the past few days I thought that I might be pregnant. We don't really want to try until early next year but I have not been on birth control for the past couple months because of insurance and I was late. I was a tiny bit excited in hopes that I was because I have been really missing being pregnant and having a baby growing in my belly. I was sad to find out I am not and though it is probably good that we are not yet (because I obviously can't handle the 3 I have in a very loving way) I am still sad.

I'm hoping that tomorrow will be a better day even when TJ goes to scouts all night and then to bowling.

It would be a good idea to start my days with a prayer...

10 Years Ago...

Ten years ago on September 11, 2001 was a day America will never forget.

The day the World Trade Centers collapsed.

Planes were hijacked by terrorists and

thousands of lives were lost.

That morning I was at the SL airport with Tessa who's best friend was leaving on a mission when we heard the news.

I don't think it really sank in and I didn't fully understood the magnitude of what had happened and what it meant.

I drove to school and went to my class at the institute building.

TVs were on everywhere and people were crying.

Large groups of people were knelt in prayer praying together.

Today marks 10 years.

And I am so happy to be an American.

I'm so thankful to live in America where this land is blessed.

Thank you to all the Heroes who risked and sacrificed their lives for the sake of others.

My heart goes out to the victims and the families who have lost loved ones in this terrible tragedy.

Chloe's first day of preschool at the BIG school

This little girl makes me smile...BIG TIME!

Sweet Chlo-bug went to her first day at preschool today. And she was so excited to be going to school with Tallie. Chloe got into the preschool they offer over at the elementary school and it's great because I take both girls to the same place and it's FREE!

Chloe did a pretty good job dolling herself up in her favorite color purple and had no hesitation going into her class or me leaving at all.

Somewhat surprised.

She loved it and is so sad she doesn't get to go everyday.

I'm glad.

I'm not quite ready for her to leave me yet.

(I love how I could actually take her to school in her backpack)

Its HUGE,

and she is tiny.

Fall is in the air and I'm feeling very rushed trying to enjoy all the things I love about summer before we loose it. We have been playing outside every night as a family. Bouncing the girls on the trampoline and playing kick the can with all the neighbor peeps. It has been the BEST! We even made homemade strawberry ice cream the other night with our new gift from my mom. I have had a lot of hair appointments lately and am very grateful for the extra money. One of those haircuts today was Tallie. We finally cut her long hair into a shorter do. It's very cute and she LOVES it! And I am so glad that I am 28 and breaking out like I am a 16 year old. AWESOME

Goal: read my scriptures

Tonight was relief society night and I'm so glad I went because there were so many eye openers for me and such great insight. First off I was kind of like "Hey! Why didn't I know about this and help plan this meeting??" It has been hard to adjust to not being in the Relief Society Presidency. It's hard to not work with Jolene and not be involved with what goes on behind the scenes. It was weird and I got a little sad to be honest. 3 years is a long time. Anyways back to what I learned. The meeting was called "sweet is the word" and it was all about studying the scriptures and finding new techniques and ideas to get us and keep us motivated. And it got me thinking about running and how it's important to me and I sacrifice a lot of sleep for it and I hate going a day without it and how I WILL MAKE TIME FOR IT. Well aren't my scriptures important and shouldn't they be a priority and shouldn't I make time for them? And I should stop making excuses and saying I don't have time to study because I do. We all do. If I can sacrifice sleep for running then I can sacrifice sleep for my scriptures. Pretty soon it will be getting cold here and darker in the mornings and I know that running will start to dwindle and I might not get out so much this winter. But I can still wake up and use that time to study my scriptures and be the mom who is a "light" for her kids. Because reading my scriptures will help me to be calm and patient and will invite the spirit into our home and into my life so I can receive revelation for my kids to help guide them through this life. And so also this night I have decided to give up reading blogs (for the time being anyways) and to save all reasons I might need to be on the computer for times when the kids are in bed so that I am not taking time away from them. This also includes giving facebook a rest and not checking it all day on my phone. This will lead to more "quality" time with my girls and will teach them that my life does not revolve around others lives and what they are doing or creating and will say to them and myself that our life IN THE PRESENT is MORE important. I will replace my breakfast and morning blog reading with eating breakfast while reading my scriptures. This will not only bless me but it will show my kids that the scriptures are important to me. Last thing I want is for my kids to grow up and for someone to ask them what they remember most about their mom and have them say "I remember her on the computer a lot". I would rather have them say "She was always reading her scriptures". What a bigger impact that would be. This is my goal and it won't be easy but I will take it day by day.