Crazy Hot Sex

November 9, 2014 by SASHA430 COMMENTS

To my dear daughter,

As you grow, many boys will enter your years. They will speak words of love and passion, of wanting you–all of you.

Their sex will be lacking.

Believe me, dear girl, I know what crazy hot lovemaking is made of. Until the boy can assure you of the following, it is not true passion.

If he can patiently wait for over three years. From pregnant to nursing to pregnant to nursing, with your hormones fierce, and desire often dead. “Please, just let me sleep. I am so tired.” will be your common response. Until he can love you still, choose you still, it is not true passion.

If He can call you beautiful when even your feet are swollen from baby belly. Call you sexy when your legs run thick with varicose veins from the same. Call you perfect after your belly hangs loose with skin and your eyes deep with bags. Until he can still call you these things, it is not true passion.

You may throw things at him, yell words of hate and shame as you feel the hormones of post baby blues run deep. Until he can love you even deeper, piercing through the pain into your heart, it is not true passion.

He will go to work where there are other women, pretty women. Pretty women with no children and varicose free, high heeled legs. I know the way they toss their pretty little hair to and fro.

He will come home to you, your hair pulled back into the frizziest of buns, a baby on your hip, spit up down your arm. Until he can come home to you–you with no makeup–and express there is nothing as wonderful as seeing your face, it is not true passion.

You are touched by his love, and whisper tonight you will return the favor. Tonight there is a crying baby and a feverish toddler who just joined you in bed. Until he can laugh, fully laugh about this, it is not true passion.

Can a man like this exist? Yes, dear girl, and you call him your dad. He has shown me what true love is.

The hormones have faded. I am not pregnant. I am not nursing. My own passion has returned. Can I truly say “returned?” I really had no idea what passion was. So intense, so raw, I cannot put it fully into words.

I am not in love with just another man. I am in love with the father of my babies. The one who called me beautiful through nights of ugly, called me strong through days of weak, called me valuable through days of uncertainty. The one who waited patiently for me. Who washed the sheets of vomit as I bathed the fever infested child.

This is love dear girl. This is passion. It is being one with he who is going to be there for you, till death do you part, regardless. It is something mystical and unexplainable. It is something crazy. It is crazy hot sex.

Wait dear girl. Wait for him. There is nothing so beautiful as finding your heart in his, the one who will wait for you–even after marriage.

Love,

Mom

(My sister in law sent this to all her sisters to read. As I read it I just cried. I cried because this is what I have. Tj is the most patient man. He just patiently waits for me, loving me every step of the way. He never expects anything and loves me like no other. I am so blessed to have him as my eternal companion, to go thru this life with and the next. He is the example for what my girls should look for in a husband and I love him more than ever!)

Lexi's love notes

Lexi loves her dad so much and when he travels she gets so sad. She is so sensitive. She wrote him loves notes everyday and piled them on his nightstand.

She is a sweetheart.

The Twins

So Becky asked me to watch her twins!! I was so excited that she felt comfortable enough with me watching them. Really I am so glad that she got out and was able to spend some time with her other kids. I was there for 2 hours and it was fun. Busy. But fun. Becky is amazing.

Tessa's Birthday

I really wanted to make this day special for Tessa since she LOVES birthdays and always tries to make everyones the best day as possible. So I went over to her house while she was at basketball and cleaned her house for her. I left notes in all her drawers and cupboards. I made her sopapillas too! They are her all time favorite thing to eat and I can't believe I have not made them before! I grew up on those things and there is NO WHERE in Utah where they can be found. Guess I will be making them a lot more now. We went to the park with her and the kids. It was such a beautiful day in Feb! We had a Costco cake and then I took my kids home because I was having a sitter come watch the kids so I could go to the temple with Tessa. I don't get to go with her that often so it was really nice! I hope she had a great day. She really is the most amazing person I know!

Special tour of the bridal room in the Provo City temple

Also on Valentines Day all girls 8 and older got a special tour of the Brides room in the new Provo City Temple. It was so sweet to be there with my girls and to feel such a peaceful spirit. They were in awe of the beauty and so excited to be able to go back one day for when they get married. 

A very special day!

Valentines Day

Valentines Day was on Sunday this year. Which was nice because then Tj could join the tea party! I really love this tradition! Tj and I went up the mountain for some warmer weather, clear air (its been inversion time in the valley) and some snowshoeing. It was so nice and warm and a fun date. I even got out on Saturday night with Becky to do a Walmart run for V day gifts for the kids. Hanging out with Becky is rare and it was great to slip away for an hour.

Mom versus manager

Chloe came home from school the other day and asked a question. She was very serious and almost sad and hesitant to ask what she was about to. Like she didn't want to know the answer.

"Mom, are you happy when we go to school? I mean I know you're happy we go to learn and stuff but like are you happy we get out of your way? Happy when we are not at home?"

I about burst into tears. 

I asked why this question. And she said she has a friend at school whose mom always tells her and her sisters that she can't wait to school to start and doesn't like when its over and that she is happy when the kids go. Chloe was so so sad for her friend and wanted to know if all moms were happy once their kids got out of their hair and were away all day to give the moms a break. 

School is a good thing. It provides routine and structure which helps moods and behaviors. It allows me time to get my errands done, house work done, hair appointments etc. But no I am not happy or excited that my kids are gone all day. I don't live for the moment when I can be home without them. I like having them around. I enjoy their company and I love summer when there is no school. Does that mean we don't ever fight or get on each others nerves or that being a mom isn't hard and exhausting? No. There are times I want to lock myself in my room for a two hour time out. But that just comes with family. It made me so sad to think she thought I was happy to get rid of her. 

No Chloe, not happy when you leave, not happy someone 

else has more hours of the day to influence you and teach you. I love having you home.

You are my life and thats why I'm happy.

It hit me

The other day Becky and I went out for a walk since it was like 25 degrees and totally spring. She met me at my house with her big double stroller and her twins all cozy inside. I was inside grabbing some last minute things like gloves and water for just in case and went out to put all the "extras" in my stroller. 

Kasen was on his bike ready to go and I had no reason for a stroller.

I was baby-less.

I put the extra's down and followed on foot behind Kasen...

pushing nothing. 

It was that moment where it hit me.

My babies are gone, I'm in a new stage of life (still in diapers tho:) and it was a very sad realization.

So I walked with Becky who was pushing her double stroller with two babies inside with two littles following.

It was just Kasen and I. 

This is going to be an emotional stage.

Quick trip to St George

So we had a really rough week a couple of weeks ago. It involved a lot of sick people, a lot of drama at school, a lot of snow and no sun. Tallie was crying, I was crying and TJ was trying to fix it. So he decided last minute we should go to the La Verkin house and get some sun and warmer temps. I was all about that. We had a good drive down. Lexi is so funny when she sleeps in the car. 

Bob and Mona were down there as well so that was fun. We played lots of games, ate good food, Grandpa paid the kids to pick up all the nuts on the ground from the trees. He didn't realize he should have paid less per nut. The kids each collected bowl after bowl. They had fun doing it too. The best part was wearing short sleeve shirts! We played at the park, drove to Dixie rock and hiked around (the kids love doing that), we took Subway to a different park, ate Swigg cookies, went to Aunt Donna and Uncle Bills and chased the chickens and their babies, Donna gave me fresh eggs, Tj took the kids on the 4-wheeler, and they played the slot machine in the house. We picked up Papa Murphys pizzas and redbox movies and headed back to the house. We played games, talked all night and slept in and then wen to the park again in the morning before we packed up and drove home. It was short lived but oh so fun and I hope my kids remember the little trips like these! And I just love Bob and Mona for totally buying everything and preparing all meals and for making the trip so fun to be with grandma and grandpa!

piano lessons

Chloe is the newest piano player in the house! She is so cute and actually doesn't fight me to go. She loves her teacher and playing with her baby girls after her lesson is over. She will practice in the mornings before school without me having to ask her. I really hope this lasts!

Ski School!

TJ and I have talked about putting the kids in ski school for several years. It is just so expensive I didn't know when we would ever do it. Well I came across a deal on Facebook for ski school thru Sage Creek elementary. Still expensive but it was never going to change. So I took hair money and just bit the bullet and signed them up. Every Wednesday for 4 weeks they would ski at Sundance from 4-6pm. I really really wanted to have them snowboard but I was so nervous about how they would do on the mountain in the cold that I worried since snowboarding is so much harder  they wouldn't have a good experience and might not want to go back. So we thought it would be better to get them used to the mountain and liking it before we switch them over. I was so nervous about the cold and how many layers to dress them in and toe warmers and hand warmers. Well after the first lesson they came home in all smiles! They loved it! Every week they talked about how excited they were to go back and couldn't wait till Wednesday. I was so happy! It was def hard for me to pick them straight up from school with all their stuff, snacks and food packed for Kasen and Lexi and to drive to Sundance help the girls put on all their stuff and then for 2 and a half hours hang out in the lounge with the littles playing games and trying to keep busy. Hot Chocolate helped and that became our weekly tradition. The girls always begged after lessons to stay and ride the lift one more time but by then I was done, the littles were done, and it was dark and freezing.  I told the girls on their last day I would leave the littles at home and I would stay and snowboard with them. I was so excited to go and to see all the progress they had made. I had Mikey Wakefield watch Kasen and Lexi which is so great because Kasen Loves Mike and is the only person he will stay with happily. Tessa and I found some cheap tickets and so while the girls were in lessons Tessa and I did our own thing. It was so freezing and I could not feel my feet most of the time  which was painful but it was nice to be on the slopes with Tessa just cruising. When the girls were done we took a dinner break and tried to thaw out. I can't believe that Tessa and I used to live on night boarding and loved it so much. Maybe its all we could afford but it is so not my thing now. I'm such a wimp now when it comes to being cold. Turns out Tallie was a Popsicle for her whole lesson and she said she cried thru her first two runs because she could not feel her feet and they hurt so bad. Once her instructor found out she took her to the Urt for the remainder of the time. I felt so bad that I didn't know and was just out having fun. After dinner she said she wanted to do a run which was good since thats why I went up in the first place. I was so amazed and impressed! Both these girls were awesome! After one run Tallie was done and so she and Tessa went back to the lodge so Chloe and I could do one more. This time Chloe did not hold back and she told me to try and keep up. I'm not kidding when I say I was going a decent speed and not stopping until the bottom. It was actually still fun for me to ski with them.  Now we always said that if we were going to live in Utah we would be a ski family and have something we could all do together as a family (either this or get a boat:) and I can't wait until we all can go together. And we just had to decide to put a little money away throughout the year so we can do this. Next year we hope to put Lexi in lessons.

Random

So Jodi sent me some cute leggings so of course I had to show some love and take some pictures to help spread her business. Plus It cool to document running in the snow.

Today I helped out in Lexi's class for her Valentines party. It so cool that Brightyn is in her class too and so its so fun to have Tessa in the class too helping out. I love living so close to her and being able to do things together. I also helped out in Chloe's class but didn't get a picture.