Parenting hurts

The whole mothering thing was hard today. Hurtful in many ways.

It started out with my sweet Kasen starting to go thru a phase (hopefully a short one). He likes to kick and scream, always begging for my phone, doesn't listen, repeats everything back to me a.k.a. MeL:"lets go change your diaper", Kasen: "no lets change YOUR diaper, how bout that?" Me: "lets go take a nap" Kasen: "no you go take a nap" and you get the point. He spent a lot of time on his bed today because he thought when he gets mad its ok to hit his mom in the face. He also likes to throw his self on the ground at Walmart and refuse to walk. Super fun. 

Today was especially hard because of Tallie. She has been somewhat mean and short and bossy to everyone. Today when she couldn't find her gloves to play in the snow she sat inside alone and refused to wear mine. I could tell all night she was on the verge of breaking down, every now and then wiping her eyes trying to hide a tear and trying to stay strong. So I pulled her into my room and just hugged her. She lost it. She told me how alone and lonely she felt at school. How she wished she had a friend. A real friend. She told me how Reese is her friend one minute and then not the next when other girls come along. And that she feels left out. She said she has felt sad for a long time. I feel like she could be depressed. We just sat there hugging and crying for a long time. I felt so helpless because I know I have to send her off to school tomorrow knowing she will go through another day, and repeat it every day. I could pray for a girl to move in but with the spanish program no one will ever move in and get to be in her same class. She will be with the same group of girls for the next 2 years. My heart just aches for her. I just want to take it all away.

I'm checking her out of school tomorrow for lunch. Maybe for the whole day.

Being a mom is so hard.

I would move tomorrow if it meant finding a friend for her and seeing her happy.