Tallie happenings

Tallie is a funny girl.

One of the first things that comes out of her mouth in the morning after she wakes up is "What are we having for dinner?".

That girl is driven by meal time.

Not so much breakfast or even lunch but it is DINNER that matters.

She is pretty good to eat or try pretty much everything and she usually likes most food. She is the one who will come home from school and pull out all the leftovers and heat them all up. Even if its 4 O'clock and dinner is at 5 I can count on her to eat all her dinner too.

There are so many times that she is asking for seconds and even thirds. I have to cut her off  and try and teach her that sometimes her stomach needs some time to catch up and realize that it's full. I often send her away from the table telling her that in 15 minutes if her stomach is still hurting and hungry then she can come back for more. Most times I am surprised at how often she comes back still hungry. There are times though that she has learned to listen to her body and she realizes that she is no longer hungry.

If there is ever a week where things are busy and TJ is out of town and I just don't get around to making a "meal" for dinner I hear about it from Tallie.

Having Mac n' Cheese, bean burritos, quesadillas or oatmeal too many nights in a row does not equal dinner to her. She gets moody and frustrated and will cry. 

Food speaks to her and sitting down as a family eating real food that has been prepared (not the above stuff) make her so happy and that is how she feels loved, especially from me.

There was once she totally had a breakdown, just beside herself, crying and saying "Why don't you make food?!! You need to go to Walmart and buy food so you can make dinner!!! I JUST WANT DINNER!". 

Now that I gave a little background...today was Tallie's first day of FASTING.

She was so excited to give it a try. She was worried about being so hungry and to be honest so was I. She did great for breakfast. Never complained at church, even with the other kids eating their fruit loops and grapes. But when we got home she was so hungry and I had told her that depending on how the day went and how she felt she could have lunch if she needed it. 

She choose lunch. And I am so proud of her for being so great and getting to that point. It was her very first time and I know it was hard for her. The very first time I fasted my mom came and snuck me a can of Pringles.

I think there was still something about missing out on that food that turned the rest of the day into a whirl wind of cries and tantrums and yelling from Tallie. She hardly ever looses it and acts this way and I know that when it does happen sleep is the culprit but today I think it was food. I think it was everything today but I have not really seen her like that before. I wanted to yell back and send her to her room and fight and ground her and all of that but then an article that I had read that was written from some mom on disciplining came into my mind. This woman was in the same situation with an out of control child and she took a sec before reacting to analyze why the child might be acting this way. She knew that the kid was behind on sleep, high on sugar (from Holidays or something) and knew that the other kids in the family had just recently been praised for achievements they had accomplished. So instead of punishing the child for their behavior that stemmed from things she could have helped control, she realized that all the child needed was some extra love (and sleep and a sugar detox). She asked that child to go on a date with her amidst all the screaming and bad behavior. 

Sometimes all our kids need is US.

I really tried to go out of my way to spend some quality time with Tallie today since I think that that's maybe what she was craving. Since she loves dinner so much I asked her to help me cook dinner. She mashed the sweet potatoes and added and tasted until they were to her liking. She set the table and then helped me plan the dinner menu for the week. She helped me write the shopping list, going through each meal and figure out what ingredients we would need to buy. 

And that was all it took.

She was smiling and felt accomplished and needed and loved.

I need to remember not to always jump to the punishments and send the kids away to time out or their rooms or take things away.

Most of the time their behavior can be corrected just by feeling loved, needed and appreciated. 

It's definitely not easy though and I struggle with it every single day.
My goal is to have Tallie help me make dinner this week.