Friends....

As a mom you want the best for your kids. You want them to always be happy and feel loved and for them to enjoy life and their surroundings. But it can't always be this way and it's hard. It just breaks my heart to see my kids hurting, emotionally. And in some cases I can't just take the pain away or make everything alright. There are some things we just have to go through and learn more about our selves in the process. I hate to see Tallie fighting to keep a friendship that has been hers for so long, only to see her slowly loose it and be replaced by a new friend. It hurts me to see her confused and sad at what's happening and her wondering where is it that she fits in and who her friends are. I still struggle with it myself. I'm still trying to fit in and find who I am and find people who like me for me. It's not easy and there are times as an adult and as a mom that I go to bed sad, with tears in my eyes wondering where I fit in. And I ask myself why do I even care. But it's human nature. As people we want to feel loved and be loved and to have friends and to be able to just be ourselves. I wish it got easier when we got older, it just gets a little different. I am still learning about myself and who I am and where it is that I want to fit in. It's a life long process I guess and it sucks going through it but it sucks even more when you are watching your child go through it. It sucks to watch people change and not so much for the better. It hurts to see friends move on in life without you when you have been such a part of it for so long. I see it with TJ and Andy. And it hurts me to see their friendship change and to be different from before. I know it hurts TJ and I hurt for him and hate to see him go to work knowing that some people at his work make it hard for people to just be themselves in fear that they will be rejected. Why can't people stay the same?